How To Mirror Someone In 3 Steps
Mirroring is all about mimicking somebodies nonverbal and verbal communication.
It sounds easy, and it is, but if you go to hard one way or another it might turn out… awkward to say the least.
So here is my personal, Step by step!
1. Establish a Connection
Give them your full attention.
Place yourself so that you are completely facing them. They should be directly in front of you.
Give them eye contact. Do this for about 60% of the conversation.
Be natural with this. Look at them, then look down or lightly to the side, then back at them.
Don’t just stare at them, but also don’t make them feel like they have to fight to get your attention.
You want to make them feel that even if your eyes wonder for second or two, they will be back on them as soon as they open their lips.
Give them three head nods
As they talk, show that you agree and understand them by giving them the nods. It give the other person the sense that you are on their side, that you feel like they do. That you are the same to some extend.
You can also tilt your head slightly to one side to show that you feel like them. But when I say slightly, I mean slightly. Almost nothing.
2. Not all about the body
When people hear mirroring, they think about copying a persons hand gestures or posture or body movements. But it’s not all about the body.
Mirroring has a lot to do with mimicking the persons pace and volume too.
If the person you are talking to is loud and excited, Mimic it!
If the person you are talking to is relaxed and soft, Mimic that!
If they use certain action or descriptive words, use those words back throughout your conversation
This way the person will feel like you share their same vibe.
Plus, this is a much less obvious mimicry than the physical ones. But just as important.
3. Physical
Now you want to mimic, but you have to know when to do so.
You are not going to copy all of their movements all the time
Mimicry should be used like spices on food or sprinkles on dessert
You want to add just enough for flavor, but not to much to ruin it.
The only reason you are doing a physical mimic is to remind them that you are and feel like them. Throughout your conversation together.
If they relax you relax
If they put their hand through their hair, copy it
If move fast you move fast
If they lean you lean
If they lean away you lean away
Mimic their punctuator, such as an eyebrow raise, a fist, a point, holding both hands in front of their laps, etc.
A punctuator is just a symbol they use when making a point. We all have one.
Lastly, If you know where you guys are going to meet or who they are, dress appropriately. In other words dress the part.
